If I Die
by Daegana
Summary: When Duo finds a letter written by the other pilots, something changes. Will Hiiro find him before it's too late...? 1x2 Songfic


**If I Die…- A 1x2 Songfic by Daegana**

'_If I Die Tomorrow'_ by Motley Crue

_I wake up to find myself_

_After all these years_

_And where all the time has gone_

_Still seems so unclear_

Feet pounding on pavement. A stream of long chestnut hair flowing behind lanky limbs. A frantic cry: "Come back Duo, please!"

'_Cause there's no one else_

_Since I've found you_

"No Hiiro, I won't come back. Not after that letter I found," Duo said to himself. As he ran, tears began to flow unknowing down his face.

_I know it's been so hard_

_You should know_

How to do it; use Deathscythe? No, that would mean going back. "If the four of you hate me enough to write those things, then I'll rid you of that burden. We'll all be free…"

_If I die tomorrow_

_As the minutes fade away_

_I can't remember_

_Have I said all I can say?_

Duo looked up and saw his frenzied running had brought him through a forest and to the cliffs at the edge of the sea. "Hiiro? What caused you to hate me so much? I thought we were good for each other…" he whispered.

_You're my everything_

_You make me feel so alive_

_If I die tomorrow_

A breeze came up, ruffling Duo's hair and making goose bumps appear across his flesh. "Can I do this? If I do, we lose the war and OZ takes over. But it's only a matter of time before they do that anyway…."

_It brings out the worst in me _

_When you're not around_

"Maybe I should use Deathscythe, right there in the hangar. That would set off the other self-destruct system and send us all to Hell…" Duo murmured, looking in his pocket for something.

_I miss the sound of your voice_

_The silence screams so loud_

Sitting on the edge of the cliff, Duo thought about his time with Hiiro. The first realization of affection; stolen glances during missions; crumpled pieces of paper with the notes of a love struck teenager; and the moment of truth when he approached Hiiro and declared himself.

'_Cause there's no one else_

_Since I've found you_

Memories of late nights, sneaking away from the house together, losing themselves in a whirlwind of passion and emotions, too long pent up. One of the strongest memories had happened right on the same cliff, when Hiiro broke down crying, confessing his sins to Duo and God.

_I know it's been so hard_

_You should know_

Finding a piece of paper in his pocket, Duo took a sharp rock and pierced the pad of his finger. As the blood began to well up, he started writing.

_If I die tomorrow_

_As the minutes fade away_

_I can't remember_

_Have I said all I can say?_

Putting the letter partially under a rock, Duo stood on the edge of the cliff, thinking about the letter he had found. All of the guys had written at least one negative thing about him on the letter, but it was mostly penned in Hiiro's small, neat hand.

_I spent all my life  
Looking for our innocence  
_

Duo heard someone running through the forest, but he paid no attention. Dropping to his knees, Duo said, "I know I have never really believed in You, and the things I've seen and done have led me to question your purpose. But now I ask You, please help them get over me quickly, so they may continue to fight this tyranny."

_I've got nothing to lose  
One thing to prove  
I won't make the same mistakes_

Duo listened silently as Hiiro walked up behind him. "God, I hope you actually do exist and that you have heard what I've said," he whispered, standing up. Turning around, Duo looked Hiiro in the eyes. "You can't change my mind Hiiro. I've made my choice," he said. Hiiro's eyes gleamed within unshed tears as he said, "It was just something to pass the time. All the guys had one. There was also a letter with all the good things about-"

_Now I know  
That everything will be ok  
When I die tomorrow_

Duo shook his head and put his hand to Hiiro's mouth, stopping his sentence. "It doesn't matter now. I'm tired of the battles, the death and destruction. This was just the envelope falling off the edge, or should I say letter?" he asked cynically. Hiiro tried to speak, but Duo closed the distance between them and gave him a kiss; quick, but full of all the pain, sadness and longing inside him. "Goodbye Hiiro. Say goodbye to the rest of the guys for me," Duo said, falling backwards.

_If I die tomorrow  
As the minutes fade away  
I can't remember  
Have I said all I can say?_

As the wind flew past him, Duo remembered as a child, he had always feared falling. He would wake up from nightmares, screaming. "I don't know why I was so scared. This is amazing," he whispered.

_You're my everything  
You make me feel so alive  
If I die tomorrow_

Faintly, from high above him, Duo heard Hiiro screaming his name. "It's too late Hiiro. You have to live on and carry out our missions. I won't forgive you if you jump after me," Duo said, looking down at the ocean. "Goodbye…" There was a splash and Duo knew no more.

_You make me feel so alive  
If I die tomorrow_

The other pilots stopped as they came out of the forest and saw Hiiro looking over the cliff, holding a piece of paper in his hand. "Oh no…he didn't," Quatre whispered. Hiiro turned around, tears streaming down his face, and held out the paper to the boys.

"Words filled with hate and hurt

Breaking ones fragile heart

Words that struck the soul

Shattering ones love for life"

Hope the four of you are happy…

See you guys in hell.

_- Duo_

Every day Hiiro went out in Wing Zero, searching the coastline for any sign of Duo, or his body. "Has he found anything yet?" Trowa asked of Quatre. Each day Hiiro came back exhausted and every time Quatre answered, "Nothing yet…"

One day, Hiiro came back and asked the other pilots to come with him in their Gundams. Without a single word, they knew he had found Duo. They flew down the coast for miles until Wing Zero suddenly descended. The four Gundams were soon in a circle around a small beach where a chestnut-haired boy had once gone to think.

Hiiro left the circle and came back, bearing Duo's corpse. Though he had been gone for some time, Duo's body still seemed alive. "He's only sleeping," Hiiro said softly, kneeling down on the sand, "Help me make a bed for him in the beach."

The three pilots got back into their Gundams and, using the giant mechanical hands, dug a small grave for their friend. Hiiro laid Duo's body into the grave and said quietly, "It was only something to pass the time… If you had known about the other letter, you would have understood…" Getting into Wing Zero, Hiiro covered up the body of his best friend and lover.

Taking a large stone out of his cockpit, Hiiro descended and put the stone at the head of the grave. The remaining pilots gathered around and read what was engraved into the stone:

DUO MAXWELL

AC 180 – 199

Friend, Lover, Pilot

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Duo would have wanted this," Hiiro said. Turning away from the group, he climbed back into Wing Zero and took off. Wufei knelt at the edge of the grave and began praying in Chinese. Bowing all the way to the ground, he stood and also left. Trowa paid his respects and waited a short distance off as Quatre did the same. Then, they too left, leaving behind a good friend and a grave.

_**Fin**_


End file.
